Lawrence Phillips

Wide-man Lawrence came to the club as a mate of Ben Gregson and established himself in the Reserves before gradually finding himself as part of the 1st XI on a more regular basis. He gave the club an early indication of his intelligence with one of the worst ever performances in the club quiz night, answers including thinking that Gatwick was the biggest airport in Europe.

A man with great passion for the game, he gave everything for 90 minutes, whether it was a sprint after a through-ball, a wave of a linesman’s flag, or a petulant strop when someone didn’t pass to him. It’s almost like he grew up watching Paolo Di Canio’s worst moments at his beloved West Ham, although the Italian superstar never managed as bad a haircut as our very own Mr Bean, even took to wearing a ridiculous headband to protect his top-knot.

While the rest of us had little choice but to put up with him, Lawrence’s (much) better half loyally chose to watch him in every game, rain or shine, win or lose. We can only think there was a reward for her somewhere, although Lawrence’s other love of wearing a gimp mask may provide some clues.